“Father, thank you for the lessons you’ve taught me,” I say in my heart, unable to voice it aloud. “Thank you for showing me what not to become.”

My father, a towering figure in my life, was a man sculpted by hardships, yet his approach to fatherhood left much to be desired. He believed in a tough love that bordered on deception, thinking that harshness was the only tool to shape a child. He saw the world as a battlefield, each child a potential soldier, and embraced deceit as a strategy, honesty a weakness, and kindness mere frivolity.

As I ventured into adulthood, I rejected the notion that toughness was the only route to resilience. I didn’t want to be unfeeling or dishonest; I yearned for a gentler, more honest form of ‘traditional norms’. I wanted a version of manhood that embraced kindness, not cruelty.

So, father, thank you. Thank you for revealing the kind of man I strive not to be. Because of you, I’ve learned to shun the detrimental traits you embodied and embrace a healthier, more balanced way of being..

And for that, I am grateful.

Yet, as I ponder my journey, it becomes clear that it’s not merely about defying my father’s ways. It’s about understanding the societal pressures that forged him – the expectations that molded him into a person who equated acceptable standards with toughness and competition over cooperation.

I’ve come to realize that my father, too, was a victim of harmful norms. A man taught that being a man meant suppressing emotions and prioritizing toughness over tenderness. This understanding doesn’t excuse his actions, but it allows me to break the cycle and redefine what it means to be a man.

Now, as my journey unfolds, I’ve become my own man. I have my own family – children, a wife – and I’m determined to raise them differently. I’ve embraced my power to redefine being a man by nurturing emotions, valuing cooperation, and practicing honesty. I’m committed to creating an environment where my children are free to be themselves, unburdened by outdated expectations.

And so, my journey continues – an odyssey of unlearning and relearning, of breaking down and rebuilding. A pilgrimage toward a healthier, more balanced form of traditional norms. A journey that extends beyond me, hoping to inspire others on their paths of self-discovery and growth.

Because, in the end, it’s not just about rejecting harmful behaviors; it’s about embracing a new way of being, a new way of living. It’s about crafting a world where every man is liberated to define his own social customs, unshackled from the fear of falling short.

And for that, I am hopeful.

As I continue on this path, I am constantly learning and growing. I am learning to listen, to understand, and to empathize. I am learning to be patient, to be kind, and to be compassionate. I am learning to be a better father, a better husband, and a better man.

I am also learning to forgive. To forgive my father for his mistakes, to forgive myself for my own. I am learning to let go of the past and to focus on the future. A future where societal expectations and standards are redefined, where every man is free to be himself, and where love, kindness, and honesty are valued above all else.

This is the world I am striving to create. A world where the standard for being a man is not about being tough or unfeeling, but about being kind, honest, and understanding. A world where every man is free to express his emotions, to ask for help, and to be himself.

And as I continue on this journey, I am filled with hope. Hope for a better future, hope for a better world, and hope for a better me. Because I know that change is possible, and I am committed to being a part of that change.

So, father, thank you. Thank you for showing me what not to become. Because of you, I am on a journey towards becoming a better man. A man who is kind, honest, and understanding. A man who is not afraid to challenge the status quo and to embrace a healthier, more balanced form of manhood.

And for that, I am grateful.